Can the Eagles Soar again?

Hello faithful readers!  Happy Holidays!!  Wow, it has been since Thanksgiving.  So sorry, I have been busy burying my head in the hopes that the Tebow mania would FINALLY, MERCIFULLY  come to an end.  Well, he lost.  "But look how much he's improved!"  Says Skip Bayless...."He's definitely going to be a Bronco next year" said a beleagured, tebowed-down John Elway.  Nope, the Tebow mania continues.  He wins - Tebow is the great motivator, he just knows how to win!  He loses?  Tebow left it all on the field, he just got beat by Tommy Uggs - show me someone in the league who hasnt!  A noble defeat.  I get it, he's teflon Tebow!  Santa, all I want for Christmas is one Tebow free Sports Center.  Please?  I have been nice.

But here I am, getting caught up in it.  A whole paragraph has gone by and I have not once mentioned the suddenly soaring Philadelphia Eagles!  Welcome back Vick!  With you in the game, so is Desean.  With Desean in the game, Shady gets room to run and run forest run!  The man is the fastest in the league, sorry AP.  Shady just may run his way to the playoffs.  What?  How so, you say.  Watch this.....

Jets beat the Giants this weekend; Eagles beat the Boys - hell, even Jerry is nervous, just ask him.  Next week......
Eagles beat the Skins, Boys beat the Giants.   EAGLES win the division!  WHAT?  Hey Santa, I take it back.  All I want for Christmas is the aforementioned scenario.  Stranger things have happened.  Dream team indeed!  Ok, but I won't get ahead of myself.  Eli/Coughlin have to choke against Sanchez and Sexy Rexy....Come on Gang Green.  Do it for me.  Do it for Greeny.  Do it for the kids.  Cromartie's kids.

What else?  Packers finally went down.  To the Saints?  Nope.  Falcons?  Nope.  Niners?  Negative, they went down to the mighty, mighty  Chiefs.  Led by?  Former Tebow stand in - Kyle Orton!  How about that.  Seems Orton knows how to win too!  Tebow must have taught him.

Breesy is about to take down Marino's single season passing record.  Who thinks that secretly Dan Marino is praying for some sort of freak hand accident to hit Drew Brees this weekend?  Deep, deep down inside.  Hey?  How did TU not break it the season he played with Randy?   Hmmm.

Can someone explain Tebow mania when it should be CAMcrazy!  Love Cam Newton - watching him throw the football doesnt make you cringe and want to suggest he try a differenct sport (a la Tebow), he runs like the wind and he is adorable.  Definitely all rookie pro hot team MVP.  Oh wait, Tebow isn't a rookie!  Everyone just keeps saying he is!

How about them Dolphins.  Who loves to spoil the dream for their opponents more than them?  Spoiler alert, Reggie Bush is back to legit!  Back with kimmy too? 

The Colts win on the same day they announce that Peyton Manning will not play this year.  Hmmm....perhaps they should have made that announcement earlier, that way the team wouldn't have waited for him each game.  But really?  Did they mean he will never play for the Colts again.  Tear....

Ha!  As predicted, Diva McNabb did NOT get picked up.  Karma's a bitch Chester Cheetoh!  Ok, TO didn't get picked up either.  Maybe it actually was mutual and karma is kicking both their asses.  Nope. I don't like that scenario.  I still say it was all McNabb and his mom that ruined the TO to McNabb awesomeness that was Philly.

My love Ray comes back, screams in the huddle and the Ravens get mauled by the Chargers.  Total coincidence.  Ray, you and your boys will win the division.  Take that bathroom Ben.  Why did you play on that ankle anyway?  Omar Epps senior, you should have stopped him!  Oh, and speaking of THAT game.  Someone should tell the electric guy at Candlestick - its just the name of the stadium, not the preferred method of lighting. 

Can you believe there are only two weeks left in the regular season?  It seems like just yesterday the lockout ended and everyone was dancing in the streets.  Tear again.  Thank God the NBA is back.  Idol's back.  College basketball is heating up....and so are the Eagles!!  (See above).  All is not lost. 

Ok, I am beginning to bore even my number one fan - myself.   I can't let this post end without a shout out to Lamar and Khloe.  Dallas doesn't know whats about to happen!  Lamar, no more clotheslining Dirk!  Be nice now!  Lakers....WTF were you thinking/  Ugh.

Ok, peace out.  Noel.  Merry, merry.  Happy happy.

Go Yankees (and no...it's not too early).

Peace.

Tebow.

Tis the Season to be Tebow....

Ok, the Tebow craze is bananas.  Like seriously nuts.  Back up Jesus has turned into our Lord and Savior.  In addition to somehow energizing the Denver D and going an improbable 5-1, he also has ended the NBA lockout, broken up Kim and Chris, solved global warming, brought Sandusky to justice, helped UNLV to victory......he is....the most interesting man in the NFL.  All while passing like a pop-warner linebacker.  Poor, poor John Elway.

Dare I go on?  Is there anything else to discuss in the NFL today?  Not if Skip Bayless has anything to say about it.  BUT, I will see if I can dig up some gems.....

Tommy Uggs is back.  Damn.  I was sort of enjoying their supposed fall from grace.  But really?  Did anyone think that Giselle's husband was going to give up his AFC throne that easily to a himbo from NY?  Defense or no, the Pat's still have Laurel and Hardy as receiver/TE - Welker (who frankly gives Pedroia a run for his money as the shortest, most beloved Boston sports figure) and Gradkowski (or is that the kicker) a BEAST of a TE who runs like a gazelle.  How on earth does he do that.  For the record, none of the above are on my all pro-hot team.  Well, Tommy Uggs has a permanent slot, I forgot, damn him.

Speaking of sexy Rexy - is anyone besides me TOTALLY freaked out by his brother Rob?   I can't watch the Cowboys for fear that I may catch a glimpse of him.  With that said, Laurent Robinson - thank you, my fantasy team is SO happy you have arrived!  And with the Eagles horrific dream to nightmare season, I think I may be reverting back to another former TO team - let's go Cowboys....as long as I avert my eyes from Rob and onto say....hmmm...Bradie James (def all-pro hot team) then I am good.  Plus, if the 'Boys can knock out the Giants, bring it! 

But back to Rex, ok.  LT is old and hurt, Shonn Greene is hurt (I think...right?) - so you're running game is suspect.  You have Santonio - ok.  Plax?  TBD.   You know who you need, right?  Come on faithful readers, say it with me.......TO!!!  Dustin, you can give up 81, correct?  There is still time.  Excuse me, I need to go make a call to Drew Rosenhaus.

What else, Packers undefeated, yeah, yeah.  Ok, Aaron Rodgers is an absolute beast.  He has essentially been perfect this year and has virtually erased the memories of that narcissistic gungslinger Fav-ra.  His play would ALMOST garner him a spot on the APHT (all pro hot team for you slower readers), but sadly, it doesnt - sorry ARodge.  Although, guess who's getting his groove back and can give ARodge a run for his money?  Breesy baby.  And his scar is just cool enough that he can sit the bench on the APHT - not a starter, but definitely some playing time.  Go Saints.  I would say "who dat", but I don't really get that, to be honest.  So there's that.

Niners lost on Thanksgiving in a heartbreaker to the Ravens - sans my number one, veteran APHT (and my future husband) #62.   He may not have been playing, but his pre-game huddle was in full effect.  Does anyone else get goosebumps watching that pre-game pep talk/yell?   And PS, Torrey Smith, welcome to the APHT!   As for the Niners, you will be fine - hell, Wilbon thinks you are better than New Orleans so, keep your left coast chins up.  And Vernon, please re-grow your hair.  Please?

Lions, for the first time in what feels like forever, people were happy to watch you on Thanksgiving.  And what happens?  Ndamukong Suh "accidentally" stomps on their chances of a victory.  Now, in fairness, their big chance and they are playing the Packers?  That's just rough luck, but come on Suh?  And, unlike Baby's dad, when you are wrong, you don't say you are wrong and that's just, well, wrong.  Ok, am I the only one who got that last line :)

Indy, sorry.  Really sorry.  Good Luck.  Haha.  So obvious.

Michael Vick - as I mention in virtually every post - I love you.  Is there something I don't know about your rib injury that makes it different from Tony Romo's?  I mean, how can you let TRomo look tougher than you?  Strap on your kevlar and get back out there!  Well, too late now.  No need to rush back.  We can continue to watch Vince Young throw like a girl, to the other team.  Hey,  at least his girly throws put up some numbers for my fantasy team.

Ok, I have gone on WAY to long so the time has come for me to wrap it up.

Welcome back NBA - except for those stuck in China! Woops, shoulda read that small print!  Go Lakers!

OK, peace out and Drew - call me.  We can make magic with TO and the Jets.  Really.  Hey wait, maybe Tebow can help me negotiate this deal.  I'll call him.

Peace and go Yankees!  Ok, too early.  Go Lakers!  and for the love of Tebow - bring back TO!

The Eagles have landed...crash landed

Sorry its been awhile.  Frankly, as much intrigue as this season has offered....Lions and Bills are good - oh my! (although fading.), Niners are amazing (just ask the Giants), Colts are defeated (opposite of undefeated), Aaron Rodgers puts the clutch in ARod....I just haven't felt inspired....Why, you ask?  Well, its the Eagles.  They have crushed me. Deep.  What is happening in Philly?  Let's see....

1.  Desean Jackson - no money for an alarm clock?  Buddy, I know the Eagles paid the rest of the world to play for them and neglected to rub a few pennies (and by pennies, I mean millions) together for you....but don't you get paid enough for an alarm clock?   Really? or maybe a friend who could call you right before a meeting?  Come on man.

2.  Steve Smith - hi, welcome to the NFL, its a contact sport.  

3.  Mike Vick - I love you.  Truly.  But seriously,........Run, forest run.  When in doubt, run.  I know you want to be known as more than a running quarterback, but please, don't hold back.  Oh, and PS, when you do run....please slide.  No heroes needed.  Vince Young can't handle one snap no mind a whole game.

4.  Andy Reid, I think you need to start SERIOUSLY fining anyone who gets an off-sides call or any other stupid penalty.  The opponents of the Eagles don't need to do anything, the Eagles will penalty march them down the field.

See ya next year, Eaglets.

What else can I say about this season?  The Ravens kill the Steelers twice and then lose to the Seahawks?  Really? 

Congrats to the Dolphins for falling behind in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes (although anyone who watched the Stanford game this weekend might not consider him to be the miracle he is hyped to be).  Two wins, go fins!

Atlanta, um...a word of advice....when in OT and on your OWN 30 at 4th and inches...yeah, I wouldn't go for it. 

March Sanchez...ah, so pretty. 

Tommy Uggs, no way you were going to lose 3 in a row.  Way to bring it back. 

Ok kids, off to go watch MNF - here's hoping the Packers cover the 13.5 spread and score big....I am destined to score big if they do!

Peace out....

and here's to the Eagles going undefeated the rest of the season!  Dare to dream.

Oh, and PS, on a more serious note....thoughts and prayers going out to the victims in the Penn State scandal and I am not talking about Joe Paterno.

Let the Tebow Era Begin!

Ok, I am back.  First things first.  My last post may or may not have implied that there was not a chance in hell the Yankees would lose to Detroit.  Um, well....since then....the Yankees lost to Detroit, Detroit lost to Texas and now Texas is losing to Albert Pujols in the World Series.  Look, if I were psychic, I would not be sitting on my couch on a Sunday writing this blog (no offense), I would be off doing something that rich people who won the lottery do on a Sunday.

Now, back to the NFL....
Yup, it's finally Tebow time!  Now, for all those Tebow supporters out there - don't get too excited by today's game....c'mon.  He is playing, essentially a home game against the WORST team in the league.  He SHOULD win.  Let's see what he does against Detroit NEXT week.  Now, if he loses....well....um...yeah. 

Off to merry old England to watch Chicago play Tampa.  What?  Is there anyone out there who understands the POINT of this England thing?  I just picture a lot of Americans who fly over to watch combined with some drunken English men who "come to" in Wembley saying, (cue the English accent a la, Noel Gallagher), "Wot?  Where am I?  Who are those blokes on the field and why are they wearing so much clothing?  Bollocks, this isn't football!  Give me another pint so I can make this game tolerable!"

Rough month for NFL coaches, no?  Sean Payton gets destroyed on the sideline, Harbaugh vs. Schwartz - the handshake heard round the NFL.  Children please.  Rex is still talking s&%$t but the Jets haven't backed up his swagger. 

Debut QBs this week:
HA!  I called it - Ponder in, McNabb out.  And McNabb is "surprised."  Really Diva?  Come on.  You're done!  Of course, Ponder in is the anti-Tebow start.  Really, poor guy has to face the undefeated Packers.  You know, deep down, DMc is hoping for a concussion or something so they have no choice but to go back to his Chunky Soup eating ass....

How about Carson Palmer in Oakland?  Will he?  Won't he?  The Raiders are relevant again, this is actually a big decision.  Hue Jackson said whatever decision he made would be followed by a large cup of Irish coffee.  Here's hoping that Bailey's is working now Hue!  Good luck!

Wimpy award of last week definitely goes to Jason Garrett and the Dallas Cowboys!  I mean, I know your man Tony has his ups/downs/fumbles/momentary lapses of judgement - but Jason, your lapse of judgement in letting Tommy Uggs get back on the field cost you the game.  Uh, have you watched the NFL for the past 10 years?  Brady is kind of legit.  I think giving him and Wes Welker a chance to score with 2 minutes left is like throwing Tom Brady into a club with two minutes left and wondering if he can pick up a woman before the lights come on.  I'm going with Brady in both cases.  Jason Garrett, from the time you have screwed TO to this call, your judgement is questionable. 

Speaking of TO......Scout's honor - he is coming  back!  (So says the "scout" himself, Drew Rosenhaus).  TO will be working out for teams and the media starting possibly as soon as Tuesday - where will he end up?  Some say Tennessee - he Kenny Britt is out for the season; some say he could be reunited with Carson in Oakland - hey, TO had a great season last year, clearly they had some chemistry.  How bout them JETS?  Rex plus TO (plus NYC), watch out world!  Hell, after the fumble just now by Dustin Kellar and the non factor of the sweatpants bandit....I think Santonio needs a buddy.  Bring it!

OK, the games have started, I have a new couch, I am about to get in posish for the day - to watch my fantasy team cruise to another victory and the crappy games that Time Warner cable has deemed worthy of showing...why do we get screwed with one game at 4PM?  Rude. 

Ok, sorry, next week will be more comprehensive about the actual league - like the continuing to surprise Lions, Niners and Bills.  Will anyone beat the Packers?  Ponder that.....The Eagles are on a bye week this week, thank God.   Ravens, quietly the best team in the AFC?  Food for thought.

Cheerio!

S

It's been too long!

My sincerest apologies for the delay.  I am sure that you, my faithful readers, have been continually logging in, hoping for a new post.  Wondering, when, oh when, is a new GJWWF post coming out?!?  Well, it's not that I haven't wanted to post, but for the past two weeks, I have been holding my breath....literally holding my breath hoping my man Michael Vick wasn't concussed (it's minor!), doesn't have a broken hand (it's bruised!), gets calls from the refs (he doesn't!).  It isn't easy to blog whilst holding one's breath.  So today, he's back, right?  He throws for a personal record 416 yards, 2 TDs and the Eagles....what?  The Eagles LOST!  Thanks to two missed FGs and a late game fumble....a non-concussed, bruised handed Mike Vick leads his Eagles to a loss....to the NINERS!  UGH.

Oh wait, there are other stories in the NFL, you say?  Tom Brady cut his hair!  My guess?  He took a look at himself pouting on the Buffalo sidelines after his 4th INT and said, good Lord!  I have got to cut that off.  Speaking of Buffalo - how about it!  3-1 and 1st in the AFC EAST!  They lost a heartbreaker today to....Cincy?  Uh oh.  Cincy?  They did humiliate the Pats though so if they don't win another game for the rest of the season, it was a successful season!

But wait, there's another success story out there....and it isn't Ocho Cinco!  How about them Lions!  4 - 0.  WOW!  One sentence....Stafford to Megatron!  I know there is more to it, but that is the fun part to watch!

How about that Cam Newton?  OK, he may or may not win games, but the kid can throw and he always keeps it exciting.  How do I know?  Steve Smith is on my fantasy team...

How about that Tony Romo?  He's a bum!  He's a hero!  Poor Tony. 

How about every sports announcer in the world owes Mike Shanahan an apology.  He saw it, he knew.  Diva McNabb was done.  Frankly, TO saw it first, but no one will admit that!  (Except maybe TO....).  How sad are the Vikings?  I mean, AP is AP and you can't win a game?  Sad.  But hey, at least he has eclipsed his 39 passing yards 1st game total.

How about Rex Grossman, sage?  I mean, he was mocked, not just by me either for saying the Redskins were a team to be reckoned with. Well guess what?  The reckoning is here.  They are pretty legit.  Better than the dream team, sadly.  I still believe in you Eagles!!! 

How about some perennial powerhouses looking a little long in the tooth?  Obviously, Indy.  So sad, turns out Peyton Manning should have won MVP EVERY year that he was in the league because they can't even play a high school team at this point.

Pittsburgh?  Ok, they are 2-2, but don't they look...well...OLD?  They just don't look like the Steelers of the past....stay tuned.

Now, time for my current all pro hot team:
QB:  Michael Vick; Tom Brady and March Sanchez backing up (now that he has cut his hair!  Finally).  Cam is on the bench for sure.
WR:  Megatron!  Larry Fitz and TO (ok, ok, but he will be back)
RB:  Tough, tough position.  Reggie Bush?  Is Lawrence Maroney still playing? What about Marion Barber?
TE:  Vernon Davis - despite his hair. 
Def:  Um, have you met me?  Ray Lewis!  James Harrison, Demarcus Ware! 

I would also like to finish this week's blog with a rant.  Chris Carter!  Who the hell made you the authority on everything?  Is it me or is he next only to Skip Bayless on the extremely annoying level.  Correct me if I am wrong, but at one point you were an alcoholic WR who was essentially kicked off the Eagles.  Be easy and remember where you came from.  Ugh.  Unless it's Randy Moss, he doesn't like you.

Finally, to the state of Michigan - the NFL gods have given you Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson, Eminem and Hung.  The Tigers aren't beating the Yankees.  Got that?  Despite Girardi's doing everything can to help you, you are not beating the Yankees!

Ok, gotta go.  I know this wasn't one of my best, but rest assured, I am back and will be better than ever (credit Mike and Mike).

See ya.

Go Yankees.
Peace.

Week 1 Does NOT Disappoint....

And we're back!  As my favorite Boston sportwriter, Bill Simmons (@sportsguy33) tweeted, Steven Jackson is injured, the NFL season has officially begun!

And it began with a bang!  Raise your hand if you are in a cut throat pool and are already out!  My hand is not raised because I prefer the kind of pools that suck my money weekly with no elimination (but nary a chance of winning either!).  But seriously.  Let's take a quick gander...I will start with real football, not fantasy (in which my team had the high score this week....I might add)....Here we go...

Let's go through this....starting with the NO SURPRISE category:
Eagles - Rams
 - As predicted, Steven Jackson showed tremendous promise and then promptly got injured.  Nothing new in the Loo there.  Adding insult to injury...Sam Bradford went down too.  Here's hoping the Cardlinal's make a run.
 - Mike Vick and DeSean Jackson showed whey they BOTH need to be paid - you listening Eagle's brass?  Mike Vick may not have tossed for as many yards as Brees or Rodgers, but he ran, he threw, he scrambled.....he just keeps things interesting! (Also my fantasy QB - we beat Drew Brees...take that fancy yardage QB!)

Colts - Texans
 - OK, maybe the ABSOLUTE destruction was a surprise, but did anyone expect the Colts to do ANYTHING sans Peyton?  Really?  I mean.... I am fairly sure I saw Kerry Collins at some hipster bar in Williamsburg eating a burrito a month ago....But it wasn't even all his fault.  Do you think Jim Caldwell woke up and said, Oh Shit!  Now I have to actually try to COACH this team?  If he did, it didn't work.  Yikes.  Jim Irsay's twitter account is going to blow.

Jets - Cowboys
 - Tony Romo choked.  AGAIN.  Somewhere Jessica Simpson was watching that game screaming, "see, I told you it wasn't me!"
 - Plax had a TD.  Somewhere Eli Manning was screaming, "Damn you and those pocketless sweatpants!  We had it so good!"
 - Is it me or does Rob Ryan look like Rex's evil doppelganger. The man doesn't smile, he doesn't appear to bathe and frankly, he makes Rex look hot and, that in itself is quite a feat!  (no pun intended!)

And that sums up the "NO SURPRISE" category.  Let's move into the....hmmm...let's call it...the "GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT...AND WAIT...AND WAIT..." category.

Joe Flacco finally defeats Big Ben and The Steelers
 - If only Mike Tomlin (aka, Foreman) coached the Ravens, I would have nothing to like about the Steelers and could really mock them (oh wait, I think James Harrison is on my all-Pro Hot Team.....yeah, ok, if he and Mike Tomlin were in the Ravens organization then...).  But I do happen to like Foreman, so I can't mock Big Ben and co as much as I would like...
 - With that said...7 turnovers?  WHAT?  Then you try to start a random brawl?   WHAT?  What a joke is more like it!  You get it JOE/RAY (squared - Lewis and Rice) and Ed Reed, you definitely still have it.  Anquan, good to see Flacco finally remembered your name.
 - Ray Rice - love him.  He is like a bowling ball barreling through.  Reminds me of Joe Morris from the Giants back in the day. Anyone remember Joe?  We kind of have the same body.  Low to the ground, big legs....

How about them Lions?  And Bears? 
Matthew Stafford to Megatron ALL DAY!  Calvin Johnson is a BEAST!!  The Lions are fun to watch with that pairing.  Between this and the new season of Hung, Detroit's renaissance may be coming faster than we thought!

Atlanta? 
What the hell happened??? Brian Urlacher scores a TD on you?  My theory?  Matt Ryan was busy focusing on the ovation that Mike Vick was going to get in the Dome NEXT week.  Focus Matty, focus. 

Buffalo!
How fun - Ryan Fitzpatrick to Stevie Johnson!  Stevie Johnson - sounds so cute!  Wait, I better check out a photo of him, stat.  I need to see if he is as cute as his name.  I would love him to be on the all Pro-Hot team.  Stay tuned.

Jamaal Charles?  All I can say is that I am so glad I didn't pick you with my first pick (hello Mike Vick!).

Next category?  How about VINDICATION?
1.  Rex Grossman - if for only one week and against the Giants' B team (that includes Eli) - you shushed the haters.  I personally shut a few down, if only for sport, on twitter :)

2.  Cam Newton - all those people saying you were going to be an average rookie, making rookie mistakes....well - you sure showed them.  In fairness - it was against the Cards defense and you did lose, but in doing so, you broke a record and racked up my fantasy points, HELLO Steve Smith!  Bring it CAM!  Remember Steve Smith....all season please.

3.  ME (and TO, @terrelowens) - yup, I felt very vindicated with Chester Cheetoh throwing for a really intimidating 37 yards.  YIKES!  Look out, here comes Diva McNabb and he is racking up the....minutes for the other teams' offense :)  Ha!  Another game like that and we don't have to "Ponder" the next move in Minny. 

Tonight's games?  Well, it was looking OK for the Fins for a minute, but....sadly, it is UGG Season in the MIA and Tommy is coming through....I need to be objective here.  Now that the hair is a bit better and...as long as he doesn't open his mouth or try to dance (spare us, please!!), Tom Brady is back on the all Pro Hot team.  Yup, I said it.

However, I have noted someone who has not made much of a splash tonight.....Chad Ochocino has been Chad Donde Esta........  We could put that into the "NO SURPRISE" category.

As for the late game?  Who's playing?  Tebow vs. some guy dressed in skeleton outfit or something?  Yeah, I don't think I will stay up for that one.

Sadly, this has gone on a lot longer than I thought so I don't have time to fully describe the beatdown I gave my fantasy league this week except to say....BEATDOWN!  Ok, there are a few players (not my direct opponent, phew) who may be able to catch me point-wise, although doubtful....All this with one play by Steven Jackson, a no-show by Mike Sims Walker....Still killing it! 

OK peeps, my carpal tunnel is starting to kick in....and I am sure everyone has stopped reading at this point.  SO, I will sign off.....not before saying......how about them RAYS!!  OK, that's all I am going to say on that.  Karma is still a bitch and the Yankees haven't locked anything down yet...but...... how about them RAYS!

And one final word, in all seriousness...is there anyone out there who didn't tear up a little during the "Empire State of Mind" State Farm commercial.  Fantastic.  I never got tired of it.  It was amazing.

Oh, and one final, final word - BRING ON THE ENTOURAGE MOVIE!

Now, I am out.....GO YANKEES :)

Are you ready for some football?

It's here!  The NFL season is officially here!  Sadly, the same cannot be said for the NO Saints.  Although they are only down by 11 (ONLY DOWN BY 11!!) at the half, doesn't it seem like Green Bay is playing a rooking squad (with Sproles being the only highlight).  Yikes!   

Speaking of Sproles, after this performance, I have just picked him up in my Fantasy League.  Too bad I thought Jonathan Stewart was a better option earlier today during my draft....ah, but he's mine now!

And speaking of speaking of things....Fantasy Football is also back!  My league, Lockout, What Lockout? (weak name, I know - suggestions?) drafted today.  Better late than never!  I took a gamble with my first pick...and with the 3rd pick of the 2011 Fantasy Football season, Vick's Encore (again, weak, I know, suggestions are welcome!) selects....Michael Vick!  He will either make or break me.  Watching ARodge play tonight.....well, I am hoping Vick comes through for me cuz ARodge is looking mighty good.  Nice pickup Ron....

I also picked up a potential felon - Kenny Britt, went back to Steven Jackson - I always go to SJ......and took a chance with the Lions D.  All of that adds up to a big TBD.  I could win big or GO HOME.   God I love fantasy football. 

Ok, it's halftime, this was just a quickie to a. acknowledge the NFL season, b. spread the word that this is Mike Vick's year and c. call out the Who Dat D.  More like, Where Dat!

Ok peeps - oh, and a bit of fun trivia - my man TO will be appearing on Necessary Roughness next week.  If you haven't tuned in yet....TUNE IN!   Hey, if I cannot watch him on the field, why not on the USA Network!

Ciao and.....go Yankees! 

And the official countdown begins.....

For the Beyonce/Jay-Z baby!  Oh.......and the NFL season! 

Sorry it has been so long!  I think I got over excited for NFL season and the quick draft got me all hyped up.  Then I started actually watching pre-season games.  Yah! The thrill was gone in about t-minus 10 minutes.  BUT.......

About one week and REAL football is back!  What does that mean?  Well, for starters, it usually means that my tan is fading (bad), my fantasy football dominance begins (good) and boots come back (great)!

So what can we say at this point?  Well?  Mike Vick - welcome back to the 100 million club!  Creditors rejoice!  Really, how little were the Eagles spending before?  And why haven't they settled with DJ yet?  What the hell?   Who want's $5 on Mike Vick playing all 16 games?  I feel it.  This is his year......

While the Eagles are adding everyone they can think of, the Cowboys keep cutting EVERYONE!  Latest victim, Andre Gurode.  First it was my old friend Leonard Davis, then Colombo (Marc, not the wisecracking detective).  Perhaps since they have less players, they will commit less penalties....I know, I know, they are replacing them.  But seriously, it can only improve in the penalty area, right?  Is DeMarcus Ware still on  the team?  How about Bradie James?  They remain on my all-Pro hot team and I want to be sure I am classifying them correctly!

What else?  Peyton Manning - welcome back!  Way to get out of the pre-season with class and dignity!  How do you do it!  Nice move Manning, glad to have you back!  Although your team is crumbling around you and your president is a twittering mess!  Someone take that man's phone!

Ok, I have decided to make some pre-season predictions.  Note, quite similar to Greeny, if your team is someone well favored in my predictions below.  Beware, this is going to be a long season for you.  I am a one woman walking curse.  With that said.....without further ado...

NFC East:

1.  Eagles - see above (Mike Vick stays health, only if the O-line actually shores up b/w now and next week) and they come out on top....I just need them to up DeSean's paltry $650K.  As dumbass Chris Carter coined, "come on man!"  Pay up!   But seriously, Namdi?  Vick?  Maclin's back?  Ronnie Brown?  Lesean?  Desean?  Bring it!  Plus, if my initial prediction doesn't pan out?  They have given me an auto back-up - Young anyone? 

 - Game one:  September 11 vs St. Louis (1:00 PM).  I love you Steven Jackson, but....Eagles 28 - Rams 10.

2.  Cowboys - Romo actually pulls it together this year (Jessica Simpson is off the market, so that's a start), keeps his collar bone out of harms way and he and Jason Witten are the best QB/TE duo in the NFL.  Felix Jones celebrates his newfound freedom (sans my boyfriend Marion Barber) and kills it.  Dez Bryant grows up and settles his jewelry bills and stops greasing up his hands pre-game.   No more dead space for Roy Williams to ruin in the end zone (Dallas just didn't work out for him...) too bad they don't still have TO!

 - Game one:  September 11 at the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets (8:00 PM).  Yikes.  TOUGH opener.  I am going with Sanchize, Revis Island and no holster Burress....JETS 21 - Cowboys 18

3.  Giants - uh, yeah.  Who the hell is even on the Giants?  Um, Plax?  Nope.  Smith?  Negative.  Ok, so Hakeem Nicks is projected as a top FF receiver, but....really? Are you cool with Nicks and Manningham as the two who will make Manning (Eli) a respectable QB, "in the league" of Tom Brady, etc?  And their corners?  Dropping like flies.  Playoffs?  You talking about playoffs?  I'm not.  Not for the G-Men.  Sorry!

 - Game one:  September 11 at Redskins (4:15 PM).  Gimme game.  See below.... Gift Eli...best not waste it.  GMen  24 - Redskins 7.  Sorry Beck Grossman.

4.  Redskins - um.  Ok.  Yeah.  Rex Grossman?  John Beck?  Um, yeah, ok. 

Game one:  See above. 

That's what i've got for now.  Tomorrow I will take on a different conference.  I am thinking AFC East.  Speaking of which....how about the Pats getting killed by the Lions?  I know, last time the Lions had a killer pre-season, they uh....didn't win a game in the real season...  I won't get too excited. 

Trying to keep it shorter and sweeter.  How am I doing? 

Hasta manana! 

Go Yankees :)  Bring on the Sox (no Yankees/Sox blogs this time!).

Girls just wanna watch football: No one is buying lottery tickets on my "gut feelin...

Girls just wanna watch football: No one is buying lottery tickets on my "gut feelin...: "So I was wrong, So what! Ok, I can't get off that easy. The Yankees blew it in Beantown. Very frustrating weekend for Yankee fans. Hard..."

No one is buying lottery tickets on my "gut feeling"

So I was wrong,  So what!  Ok, I can't get off that easy.  The Yankees blew it in Beantown.  Very frustrating weekend for Yankee fans.  Hard to say exactly what went wrong.....Ellsbury was en fuego, that is an understatement.  And who the hell is Reddick?  I didn't think there was ever going to be a Reddick that I disliked more than JJ, but here you go, leave it to the Red Sox to top Duke!   Mo and CC, I am totally cool with both of you.  Everybody has a bad day....although in fariness, CC seems to have a bad day everytime he sees that stupid pair of socks on the hats....maybe he needs to see Dani (therapist on Necessary Roughness).

PS Red Sawks fans.....you have beaten us 10 times and we are still only one game out (if the Twins prevail this evening).  Do the math.  I'm not scared.

Anyway, back to my real expertise where I am rarely wrong....football.

The free agency frenzy seems to have slowed down a bit  but that has not stopped the action.   I need to keep this short tonight....rough day, really rough day.   But there are a few things I cannot let go unsaid....

1.  Desean has reported - yay!  Eagles dream team is coming together nicely.  For once, it seems that the owners will do the right thing by an amazing wide receiver!  Show him the money, please!  With that said, signing Steve Smith (the OTHER Steve Smith) first may not have been the best....but I know they will get it done.  So...Ronnie Brown, Desean, Maclin, Smith (pending the knee), Avant...Vick and Young.  Cromartie and Namdi?  After this weekend's debacle of a prediction, I certainly am not making any bold projections, but....um....hello?  I mean, the Heat were excited about 2.5 good players...this is a bonanza!

2.  Sticking with the NFC East, how bout them Giants?  Um, how about them?  What the hell is going on?  Or, in this case, NOT going on.  Have they made even one move this off-season - other than warring with Osi?   Who knows, maybe they are secretly courting Tiki - ha! 

3. And Dallas?  they have been a bit more active, however, at the moment, I only have one realy comment at the moment.  Is Rob Ryan Rex's evil twin?  I mean he is freakish!  More on Dallas later...

4.  One of my new favorite NFL players - Aaron Rodgers, superbowl MVP.  Practice?  We're talking about PRACTICE?  Way to channel the best AI moment ever.  AR has just ratcheted up my "I love list"

5.  As for the FUNNIEST guy in the league - how about Rex Grossman?  Redskins will win the NFC East?  Um, really Rex?  You are definitely the funnier Rex blowhard and beating Rex Ryan in that category is tough!  PS, your not as cool either :)

6.  A football team back in LA?  Somebody call Ari Gold and thank him!

7.  Can somebody PLEASE explain to me what kind of weird spell Tebow has put on the entire country?  Now it seems that even pretty boy Brady Quinn is beating him out at practice and yet the country still screams for Tebow.  We want Tebow!  I scream WHY? 

8.  BIG NEWS!!!  The T.O. show is BACK!!!!   August 22nd - this time in the MIA (yup, TO brought his talents to South Beach) and I for one cannot wait to watch!!

I have run out of creativity and any more drive to continue (for those still reading, you probably are saying I lacked both from the start).  Sorry, a bad day coupled with me leaving my "notes" at work....= uninspiring blog.  I will try better next time.

Peace out.

xoxo

GIRLS JUST WANNA WATCH FOOTBALL: No one is buying lottery tickets on my "gut feelin...

GIRLS JUST WANNA WATCH FOOTBALL: No one is buying lottery tickets on my "gut feelin...: So I was wrong, So what! Ok, I can't get off that easy. The Yankees blew it in Beantown. Very frustrating weekend for Yankee fans. Hard...

Girls just wanna watch football: Girls just wanna watch jeter - special baseball su...

Girls just wanna watch football: Girls just wanna watch jeter - special baseball su...: "Ok, now clearly this is, for the most part....a football blog (a very informed, objective football blog). With that said, this is Red Sox/..."

Girls just wanna watch jeter - special baseball supplement

Ok, now clearly this is, for the most part....a football blog (a very informed, objective football blog).   With that said, this is Red Sox/Yankees weekend.  Ironically I find myself in New England this weekend and therefore subjected to the biased, liberal New England Red Sox press.  Just more fuel for my fire.  I have also had to log into ESPN New York becasue I cannot understand a word they say up here in NE country.  Honestly. 

Ok, ok.  The Red Sox have owned the Yankees this season...true.  BUT, with that, they are now both tied atop the AL East.  AND, the Red Sox are way more stacked on the mound than the Yankees.  BUT, with that, they are now both tied atop the AL East (did I already say that?).  Look, both teams are going to make the playoffs, let's be honest.  This weekend is for bragging rights and some mid-August swagger.  So, let's see what we have....

Pitching:

Fat man (8-6, 3.30)  vs. John Lester (11-4, 3.17).  On paper it looks to favor this skinnier guy.  But never underestimate a small, fat man who is like 100 years old. 

Big Fat Man (16-5, 2.55) vs. John Lackey, aka the guy who can't close his mouth no matter how hard he tries (9-8, 6.23).  Um, I am going with Mr. Sabathia on this one.

Freddy Garcia, aka, who? (10-7, 3.22) vs. Josh "I wear a lot of crap around my neck" Beckett (9-4, 2.20).  Yeah, I know what you all are thinking....it definitely looks like it will be Garcia's game to lose.  But you never know, that Beckett guy could pull it off.

Fielding/hitting:

Ok, so the little engine that could has hung up his jockey silks and has been pretty damned good. I admit, I have NO idea how a pocket size man hits and fields the way he does.  I still think it is because pitchers of normal height have no idea how/where to pitch up.   But there it is....Ortiz - back on the juice, clearly. You have to live with yourself Papi.   Crawford, eh.  Ellsbury - will NOT steal home on us again anytime soon.  Adrian Gonzalez - what can I say?  Cano spanked him in the HR derby.   But OK, he is pretty good.  Youkilis, I can't even acknowledge. I get a facial tic just thinking about his batting stance.  Gross.

Now let's get to the 27 time world champions:

Robby Cano - despite everyone in NE thinking Pedroia is hands down the best 2nd baseman in the game, his stats are neck and neck with Robby's PLUS Robby is way cuter.  Winner:  Cano.

Derek Jeter - well.  Enough said.  And for those who say he is "washed up" - the guy is hitting .357 since the all-star break.  PS, to those in the 3rd base field boxes - watch out

Tex - OK, Gonzalez is hitting better and, to be honest, I don't watch enough Red Sox baseball (translate to, none) to know if his fielding is superior to Tex's.  But I doubt it.

Speedy G's - Granderson and Gardner?  What?  Red Sox fans think they hold the monopoly on speedy players?  Granderson is leading the league in runs, he's hitting for power (28 HR's to date) and he can cover centerfield as good as anyone.  Gardner?  33 stolen bases, the man is lightning.

Advantage by a negative:  A-Rod is out.  No opportunity for lame poker jokes. 

So, based on all of the above, I have no idea how you could conclude anything but a sweep.  Yankees take three games in Fenway.  Anyone care to differ?  

Enjoy the games......Here are my final predictions:

Friday:  Yankees 6 - Sox 4

Saturday:  Yankees 5 - Sox 1

Sunday:  Yankees 2- Sox 1

I will now return to my regularly scheduled football genius.

Later!

Go Yankees!

Girls just wanna watch football: The Eagles have FINALLY opened their wallet or, as...

Girls just wanna watch football: The Eagles have FINALLY opened their wallet or, as...: "Sorry to the one or two people who have been waiting with bated breath...its been too long! And so much to talk about!! Where to begin. ..."

The Eagles have FINALLY opened their wallet or, as DMcNabb would say....WTF!

Sorry to the one or two people who have been waiting with bated breath...its been too long!  And so much to talk about!!

Where to begin.  When writing the last post, Namdi was most likely heading for Broadway and the J-E-T-S, jets, jets, jets.  Plax was supping with his nemesis, Tom, just before heading for heading down (up?) to meet with Omar Epps, aka, Mike Tomlin in Pitt and then faux heading to the bay all to do what?  Sign with the JETS!  What?  Who saw that coming?  So where the JETS lost out to the EAGLES they won by beating out the Giants/Steelers/Niners.   As far as I am concered, that 6'5" gun toting, sweatpants wearing, self shooting receiver is a gamble. A gamble that could pay off or just pay (he got guaranteed $$$ from the JETS).

But really, lets talk Eagles.  The team that, for years, had cobwebs around its wallet has decided to literally go for broke....Dandy Donovan is definitely taking this personally.  How could he not?  Not that Mike Vick the NFL's prodigal son has risen again in Philly they decide to surround him with greatness.  What did they do for Donny?  Gave him TO - he blew that and then a cast of misfits that couldn't find their way out of a paper bag (no disrespect to Brian Westbrook who was a hell of a running back - when he was on the field).   Vince Young as back-up?  Look out NFC East, you don't have a prayer.

Speaking of the NFC East - what the hell is wrong with the NY Giants?  Do you think they are bitter because the SF Giants won the World Series and stole their moniker glory?  Or maybe they woke up one morning and realized that Eli was their QB and said, eh, screw it.  Osi?  Pay the man.  But Osi?  Stop being a baby.  It's just ugly on the otherside of the NY Football coin.

OK, now I have had a lot of requests to mention that religious kid who everyboy loves in Denver.  Elbow?  Crossbow?  Oh right, Tebow!  Leave it to CO to embrace the smiley religious kid over the guy who is, by all accounts, running all over Tebow in practice.  Orton may not look like a star or smile like one, but rumor has it, he is playing a lot more like one.  Broncos fans should chill on the Tebow-hype and start warming up to Orton.  Hell, Miami will take him in a heartbeat.  I hear that everytime poor Chad drops a ball, the crowd at practice starts chanting ORTON, ORTON.....tread lightly Colorado-ans (?), next thing you will know, Brady Quinn will be taking snaps!

Peyton Manning proved again that he is a class act - refusing the original salary offered (too high!), spend it elsewhere.  Now, before we go too far, he isn't exactly in Latrell Sprewel territory (unable to put food on his table - sorry, random reference), Peyton and his family will be dining just fine.

Newsbreak!  Randy Moss has quit on football (nothing new to the Oakland Raiders, they saw that act years ago).  Please.  He has quit until someone actually wants him!  No one is offering him bubkus right now, so he faux retires until some dumbass desperate team thinks, "hey maybe we will get Moss 2008-style" and reaches out to him.  Good luck with that!  And PS, Chris Carter, get out of Randy Moss' ass.  You are the BIGGEST suck-up I have EVER heard!

Oh, and how angry am I that the PUNTER from Minny and Aron Hernandez just gave up their numbers for their new "stars."  I was relishing Ochocinco being printed over 82 (or some other number).  Damn you Hernandez.

Ok, kind of have to go.  So much more to report on....Marion Barber update - Da Bears.  Snooze. 

Food for my next blog...

The Saints are kind of looking awesome...Darren Sproles?  Nice pick-up.....

Ok, gotta run - I have an underground poker game with A-Rod I have to get to! Big stakes tonight!

Peace out and....GO YANKEES :)

S

Correction: My apologies to Kim K.

The original sex tape was with Ray J, NOT Reggie (although it is funny how similar their names are when you say them aloud. Try it. Funny, right?). Sorry, just wanted everyone to know (everyone meaning the one or two people reading this!), that I realized the error of my earlier post. I still want Reggie/Kim the sequel to happen. Just not on tape!

Have a lovely Friday.

Quick update - who can keep up!

Vince Young to Philly? Nice back up for Mike Vick! Fingers crossed....I am sure M&M will update me at 6AM tomorrow.....

Night
xoxo (still sticking with it)

Girls just wanna watch football: Free Agent Frenzy - Day Three

Girls just wanna watch football: Free Agent Frenzy - Day Three: "Well, well, well. It sure has been a wild week - the 'free agency frenzy' certainly has lived up to the hype! Where to begin? How about with..."

Free Agent Frenzy - Day Three

Well, well, well. It sure has been a wild week - the "free agency frenzy" certainly has lived up to the hype! Where to begin? How about with baseball. Is it me or does anyone else think Big Papi is back on el jugo? I mean last year the guy was the walking wounded - literally, and this year he is smashing grand slams? Really?? Oh, and the umpires can't seem to make a call to save their lives. Poor Pittsburgh, 19 innings and the ump blows a call Stevie Wonder could have made. CC, robbed by a rainstorm, damn.

But I digress....Back to the NFL - PS, as much as I love the Yankees and, make no mistake, I LOVE the Yankees..... How much better is Sportscenter and overall sports talk when the NFL is back in business. Seriously! SOOOOOOO much better.

OK, on to the business at hand......Apparently Santa did not read my wish list. Donovan is not in exile in Buffalo but in Minny without Sydney Rice who has randomly headed off to Seattle for a ridiculous price, hey wait, that rhymes. Nice :) Hasselbeck is out, Tavaris is reuinuted with Rice. Um, is the owner of the Seahawks competing with the Mariners for the most ridiculous team in Seattle? Hey, King Felix has a great arm, perhaps he could compete with Jackson for the starting job since they rudely aren't trading him to the Yankees. Wait, why am I focusing so much time on SEATTLE? How about Minny, you tried your hand at a washed up, OG last year. How'd that work out for you? Round two this time with Chester. How many games do we give Donny M before he goes down with a hammy? Two, three? Ponder, it doesnt take too much thought (get it?) to tell you that you will be suiting up this year. Oh, and if you do beat out D. McEgo in training camp, even better!!! Bring it! Finally, I am NOT picking AP #1 in my FFL. Not feeling it. You?

Reggie taking his talents to South Beach (bet I am the first person to come up with that joke, so clever). How many games do we give Reggie before he recreates his sex tape with KK (oh wait, she is marrying that dude from the "Nets." I'll ask again, how many games before Reggie and Kim make a sequel? And who is pulling for it.....ME! Not the tape itself (pervs), but the reunion. Much better match than that dude from the "Nets." If Ronnie stays with Miami (odds?), the Ronnie/Reggie show would be an upgrade from the Ronnie/Ricky show, no? The weed dealers will be bummed though.

Dallas? Jerry is dropping stars like New Englanders do R's. Roy Williams - bust (but good thing they kept him over TO - nice ego move Jason Garrett). Marion Barber - hot. I know he is an injury risk, but the man is a beast when he is on....and when he is off - as in the sidelines - he is fantastic eye candy. Yum. Can't wait to see who you end up with Marion....I may have to buy the NFL ticket....oh, and if you end up with TO somehow.....NFL Santa, are you listening? Leonard Davis? I have a special place for him ever since we bonded in Dallas right after he signed the contract. For the record, his WIFE probably could suit up for the NFL as well. She is NOT small. Random fact.

Cincy. Pride will bite you in the ass Mike Brown. Carson Palmer does NOT want to play for you (my theory? Its the uniform...I love tigers , the color orange AND an animal print...but even I think those things are UGLY) and he does NOT want to retire. What? He made a commitment and you are holding him to it? I would be curious to know how many player contracts your hypocritical ass pulled out of. Just get over your pride already. Drop him, pick up Vince Young or something. Let the man go. Just cuz his hair and scruff match the uniform doesn't a good match make. Let go and be free.

Speaking of the Bengals letting go....I guess it is time for the segue....Ocho Cinco to NE? What? Brady to Ocho? I am already vomiting. Haynesworth to NE? Yup, everyone is once again saying, Belichek's a genius. I ask, if he is such a genius, why isn't he smart enough to know that his sweatshirt looks like crap? Has Haynesworth miraculously gotten into shape and also picked up a new attitude? Time will tell. What happens the first time Ocho dances in the end zone? Belichek's sweatshirt will probably spontaneously combust. Wait, that would be a great thing...hmmm..

J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets Jets. Brilliantly re-signing Santonio.....but do they REALLY need Nmamdi whatshisname (I wouldn't complain, guy is lovely and I wouldn't need the NFL ticket to watch him...ooh, I am feeling the all pro hot team coming to NYC....sanchez, nmamdi...can I get a TO? and perhaps Marion Barber...NFL Santa? Please??).

Kevin Kolb will be throwing the ball to one of the nicest receivers in the NFL. Frankly, Larry Fitzgerald, I hope Kolb is everything he is cracked up to be. You work hard, you seem nice, you deserve a good opportunity. Really, I mean this. I don't have to be snarky all the time.

Desean Jackson holding out? This should be interesting. Remember the last time an amazing wide receiver THREATENED to hold out in Philly? We got sit ups in the driveway and a mess of a season. Desean, please sign. Mike Vick needs you. I need you. Who else will humiliate the Giants? Speaking of the Giants. Sean O'Hara gone and Plax probably back? Here's hoping his at least got a holster to wear with his sweats at the club.

I have so much more to say, report on, comment on....but I have gone on, LONG enough. I am exhausted, bikram has scrambled my brain and rendered me all but silly puddy. Gotta head to bed. I am SURE there will be MUCH more to report on tomorrow. I may also re-think my overuse of capitals for emphasis. To be determined.

Just a few random closing thoughts....
Necessary Roughness on USA - have you tuned in? It is great? EXCEPT (haven't given up the caps yet), TK as a loose interpretation of TO is a BAD interpretation of TO. And the therapist only takes one ep to get through to her patients. If only it was that easy.

One of my favorite (OK, my favorite, despite his love of all things Boston) columnists for ESPN is Bill Simmons (the Sports Guy). I plan to provide links to some of my favorite columns of his. Here is my absolute favorite - its about basketball (as a lot of his stuff is) and The Wire. Not really applicable to Free Agent Frenzy week, but it is amazing. Read and enjoy!
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/part1/110503&sportCat=nba

John Clayton hits twitter and on the first day has over 150,000 followers? (including yours truly). All the kids that beat him up in middle school and high school are now following him on twitter. @claytonESPN. Patience, he is still learning.

Thats it people. I must go to bed. More tomorrow. Where will Vince end up? And why isn't anyone talking about TO? (Besides me, of course).

Goodnight and go Yankees.
xoxo (too Gossip Girl?).

Today is a banner day for NFL fans around the country.....Brett Favre is back! Ok, hopefully the latter portion of that sentence is fodder for sports radio only. But we're back baby, the NFL is back and not a moment too soon.....

First things first. What is this blog, you ask? What the hell do we need with a girl writing about football (and other miscellaneous sporting events that I determine blog worthy)? What do I bring? I certainly don't bring the knowledge of, say, Jemele Hill (although I would relish the opportunity to battle Skip Bayless on a daily basis); I don't have the access of a Rachel Nichols or a Pam Oliver (although every season I am tempted to Tanya Harding either or both of them just for one chance...); and Michelle Beadle has essentially stolen my job (granted, a job I never studied and/or applied for...)So what do I bring? Well, when I look at it that way, not much......

BUT, here I write. For anyone fortunate enough to have been in any of my fantasy football leagues OR my fantasy American Idol leagues, you know I like to offer an opinion...and I don't care who I offend or bore or annoy...It was only a matter of time before I turned to the blogosphere....If you don't like it, stop reading....but please don't :)

So where to begin...I have already gone on long enough but have said nothing....auspicious start.

It has been a long, dark winter....After a banner NFL year, MICHAEL VICK'S TRIUMPHANT RETURN! TOM BRADY'S SILLY HAIR! THE EAGLES stun THE GIANTS....BRETT FAVRE HOPEFULLY, FINALLY KNOCKED OUT OF THE NFL FOREVER....T.O. AND OCHO CO-EXISTING IN HARMONY (although T.O. dominated, per usual - oh, caveat....I will most likely mention T.O. every blog....and yes, I love him - deal with it)...they threatened to take it all away from us with a lock-out. What the hell would we have done every Sunday? Clean? Workout? Spend time with the family? Volunteer work? HELL NO. If you are anything like me, you generally spend your fall and winter Sundays checking your fantasy scores maniacally and wondering why the hell YOUR cable company doesn't get The Red Zone channel. Yup, I am single...hard to believe, right?

The NBA did offer some distractions....both good and bad....Lakers out (bad), Lebron finals choke (good), Khloe and Lamar on E! (awesome)....but not enough! To make matters worse, they are also "on a break" at the moment (the NBA, not Khloe and Lamar, thank God).

MLB? Ok, Jeter had the most magnificent day in baseball history....but the Yankees 2nd best pitcher is a small fat man (I'm not judging) named Colon. Really? We also lost to the Red Sox about a billion times before the All Star Break (not that I am scared or anything)....but still....

Hell, I even got caught up in WOMEN'S soccer. You know I am desperate when that happens. At least I didn't find myself glued to the WNBA all star game....that would have signaled rock bottom.

All of the above is irrelevant now (except for Jeter's magic, that will never be irrelevant)....because the NFL is back and we are about to witness the most amazing, crazy free agency frenzy EVER. SO FUN.

My wish list - in no particular order(I need to come up with some sort of catch name for myself....suggestions? Or should I continue to use the first person? Thoughts?):

1. Michael Vick continues his domination and wins the Super Bowl. Nothing to do with free agency, I know, but I still wish it, desperately.

2. T.O. recovers from his knee surgery (if you doubt, see Superbowl XXXIX) and signs with the....JETS! How fun! T.O. in NYC??? With Rex as his coach? I can't imagine a more AMAZING combo. Are you listening Drew Rosenhaus? Seriously. Think about it.

3. Santonio Holmes stays with the JETS - yup - a little healthy competition wouldn't hurt my man, T.O.

4. Donovan McNabb signs with.....BUFFALO! Yup, payback is a bitch Chester (ever notice his resemblance to Chester Cheetoh? No? Look again). Bet his mom's Chunky Soup would come in handy up at the falls. Shuffle off to Buffalo Donny, see ya!

5. Kevin Kolb goes to AZ. My rationale for this is twofold. One, I am tired of hearing about how he was supposed to take over the starting job in Philly. #7 dominates, deal with it. Two, Larry Fitzgerald deserves a good QB.

6. Ray Lewis plays forever. Again, not exactly a free agent thing, but seriously...won't the league suffer when he leaves? Won't I suffer when he leaves. I heart you Ray Lewis.

7. Matt Hasselbeck or Vince Young go to SF. Who is tired of hearing about how good SF could be if it weren't for Alex Smith? Snooze. Matt Hasselbeck would be a steady, good performer. Vince Young would bring some swagger to the Bay. Either is better than the status quo. Make it happen. Whoever you are who makes this happen.

8. Reggie Bush signs with the.....EAGLES! How amazing would that be? OK, so he isn't what he once was - Kim Kardashian's sex buddy....but he still can move and with Michael Vick, DeShaun Jackson and Reggie? I love it.

9. Plaxico Burress signs with.....who cares! As long as it is not Buffalo because then my exile for Chester Cheetoh won't seem so bad....

10. Vernon Davis sees the error of his ways and grows his hair back. Please.

11. I finally break the Fantasy Football superbowl curse and WIN this year! I feel it. Big year, watch out....Now if I can only think of a good name for the league. Suggestions?

Alright, so many things to write about, but this has gone on long enough....don't you agree, one person who is still reading?

Stay tuned, I will be back, weekly, daily, whenever the mood strikes.....

Anyway...enjoy, we no longer have to hear Mike and Mike wax poetic about the lockout, cuz we're back! Bring on Greeny's JETS whining, Golic's mockery and Professor John Clayton's semi-condescending but also very informative commentary on ACTUAL football!

Oh, and PS, go YANKEES! (It is still baseball season, afterall!).....