The original sex tape was with Ray J, NOT Reggie (although it is funny how similar their names are when you say them aloud. Try it. Funny, right?). Sorry, just wanted everyone to know (everyone meaning the one or two people reading this!), that I realized the error of my earlier post. I still want Reggie/Kim the sequel to happen. Just not on tape!
Have a lovely Friday.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Quick update - who can keep up!
Vince Young to Philly? Nice back up for Mike Vick! Fingers crossed....I am sure M&M will update me at 6AM tomorrow.....
Night
xoxo (still sticking with it)
Night
xoxo (still sticking with it)
Girls just wanna watch football: Free Agent Frenzy - Day Three
Girls just wanna watch football: Free Agent Frenzy - Day Three: "Well, well, well. It sure has been a wild week - the 'free agency frenzy' certainly has lived up to the hype! Where to begin? How about with..."
Free Agent Frenzy - Day Three
Well, well, well. It sure has been a wild week - the "free agency frenzy" certainly has lived up to the hype! Where to begin? How about with baseball. Is it me or does anyone else think Big Papi is back on el jugo? I mean last year the guy was the walking wounded - literally, and this year he is smashing grand slams? Really?? Oh, and the umpires can't seem to make a call to save their lives. Poor Pittsburgh, 19 innings and the ump blows a call Stevie Wonder could have made. CC, robbed by a rainstorm, damn.
But I digress....Back to the NFL - PS, as much as I love the Yankees and, make no mistake, I LOVE the Yankees..... How much better is Sportscenter and overall sports talk when the NFL is back in business. Seriously! SOOOOOOO much better.
OK, on to the business at hand......Apparently Santa did not read my wish list. Donovan is not in exile in Buffalo but in Minny without Sydney Rice who has randomly headed off to Seattle for a ridiculous price, hey wait, that rhymes. Nice :) Hasselbeck is out, Tavaris is reuinuted with Rice. Um, is the owner of the Seahawks competing with the Mariners for the most ridiculous team in Seattle? Hey, King Felix has a great arm, perhaps he could compete with Jackson for the starting job since they rudely aren't trading him to the Yankees. Wait, why am I focusing so much time on SEATTLE? How about Minny, you tried your hand at a washed up, OG last year. How'd that work out for you? Round two this time with Chester. How many games do we give Donny M before he goes down with a hammy? Two, three? Ponder, it doesnt take too much thought (get it?) to tell you that you will be suiting up this year. Oh, and if you do beat out D. McEgo in training camp, even better!!! Bring it! Finally, I am NOT picking AP #1 in my FFL. Not feeling it. You?
Reggie taking his talents to South Beach (bet I am the first person to come up with that joke, so clever). How many games do we give Reggie before he recreates his sex tape with KK (oh wait, she is marrying that dude from the "Nets." I'll ask again, how many games before Reggie and Kim make a sequel? And who is pulling for it.....ME! Not the tape itself (pervs), but the reunion. Much better match than that dude from the "Nets." If Ronnie stays with Miami (odds?), the Ronnie/Reggie show would be an upgrade from the Ronnie/Ricky show, no? The weed dealers will be bummed though.
Dallas? Jerry is dropping stars like New Englanders do R's. Roy Williams - bust (but good thing they kept him over TO - nice ego move Jason Garrett). Marion Barber - hot. I know he is an injury risk, but the man is a beast when he is on....and when he is off - as in the sidelines - he is fantastic eye candy. Yum. Can't wait to see who you end up with Marion....I may have to buy the NFL ticket....oh, and if you end up with TO somehow.....NFL Santa, are you listening? Leonard Davis? I have a special place for him ever since we bonded in Dallas right after he signed the contract. For the record, his WIFE probably could suit up for the NFL as well. She is NOT small. Random fact.
Cincy. Pride will bite you in the ass Mike Brown. Carson Palmer does NOT want to play for you (my theory? Its the uniform...I love tigers, the color orange AND an animal print...but even I think those things are UGLY) and he does NOT want to retire. What? He made a commitment and you are holding him to it? I would be curious to know how many player contracts your hypocritical ass pulled out of. Just get over your pride already. Drop him, pick up Vince Young or something. Let the man go. Just cuz his hair and scruff match the uniform doesn't a good match make. Let go and be free.
Speaking of the Bengals letting go....I guess it is time for the segue....Ocho Cinco to NE? What? Brady to Ocho? I am already vomiting. Haynesworth to NE? Yup, everyone is once again saying, Belichek's a genius. I ask, if he is such a genius, why isn't he smart enough to know that his sweatshirt looks like crap? Has Haynesworth miraculously gotten into shape and also picked up a new attitude? Time will tell. What happens the first time Ocho dances in the end zone? Belichek's sweatshirt will probably spontaneously combust. Wait, that would be a great thing...hmmm..
J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets Jets. Brilliantly re-signing Santonio.....but do they REALLY need Nmamdi whatshisname (I wouldn't complain, guy is lovely and I wouldn't need the NFL ticket to watch him...ooh, I am feeling the all pro hot team coming to NYC....sanchez, nmamdi...can I get a TO? and perhaps Marion Barber...NFL Santa? Please??).
Kevin Kolb will be throwing the ball to one of the nicest receivers in the NFL. Frankly, Larry Fitzgerald, I hope Kolb is everything he is cracked up to be. You work hard, you seem nice, you deserve a good opportunity. Really, I mean this. I don't have to be snarky all the time.
Desean Jackson holding out? This should be interesting. Remember the last time an amazing wide receiver THREATENED to hold out in Philly? We got sit ups in the driveway and a mess of a season. Desean, please sign. Mike Vick needs you. I need you. Who else will humiliate the Giants? Speaking of the Giants. Sean O'Hara gone and Plax probably back? Here's hoping his at least got a holster to wear with his sweats at the club.
I have so much more to say, report on, comment on....but I have gone on, LONG enough. I am exhausted, bikram has scrambled my brain and rendered me all but silly puddy. Gotta head to bed. I am SURE there will be MUCH more to report on tomorrow. I may also re-think my overuse of capitals for emphasis. To be determined.
Just a few random closing thoughts....
Necessary Roughness on USA - have you tuned in? It is great? EXCEPT (haven't given up the caps yet), TK as a loose interpretation of TO is a BAD interpretation of TO. And the therapist only takes one ep to get through to her patients. If only it was that easy.
One of my favorite (OK, my favorite, despite his love of all things Boston) columnists for ESPN is Bill Simmons (the Sports Guy). I plan to provide links to some of my favorite columns of his. Here is my absolute favorite - its about basketball (as a lot of his stuff is) and The Wire. Not really applicable to Free Agent Frenzy week, but it is amazing. Read and enjoy!
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/part1/110503&sportCat=nba
John Clayton hits twitter and on the first day has over 150,000 followers? (including yours truly). All the kids that beat him up in middle school and high school are now following him on twitter. @claytonESPN. Patience, he is still learning.
Thats it people. I must go to bed. More tomorrow. Where will Vince end up? And why isn't anyone talking about TO? (Besides me, of course).
Goodnight and go Yankees.
xoxo (too Gossip Girl?).
But I digress....Back to the NFL - PS, as much as I love the Yankees and, make no mistake, I LOVE the Yankees..... How much better is Sportscenter and overall sports talk when the NFL is back in business. Seriously! SOOOOOOO much better.
OK, on to the business at hand......Apparently Santa did not read my wish list. Donovan is not in exile in Buffalo but in Minny without Sydney Rice who has randomly headed off to Seattle for a ridiculous price, hey wait, that rhymes. Nice :) Hasselbeck is out, Tavaris is reuinuted with Rice. Um, is the owner of the Seahawks competing with the Mariners for the most ridiculous team in Seattle? Hey, King Felix has a great arm, perhaps he could compete with Jackson for the starting job since they rudely aren't trading him to the Yankees. Wait, why am I focusing so much time on SEATTLE? How about Minny, you tried your hand at a washed up, OG last year. How'd that work out for you? Round two this time with Chester. How many games do we give Donny M before he goes down with a hammy? Two, three? Ponder, it doesnt take too much thought (get it?) to tell you that you will be suiting up this year. Oh, and if you do beat out D. McEgo in training camp, even better!!! Bring it! Finally, I am NOT picking AP #1 in my FFL. Not feeling it. You?
Reggie taking his talents to South Beach (bet I am the first person to come up with that joke, so clever). How many games do we give Reggie before he recreates his sex tape with KK (oh wait, she is marrying that dude from the "Nets." I'll ask again, how many games before Reggie and Kim make a sequel? And who is pulling for it.....ME! Not the tape itself (pervs), but the reunion. Much better match than that dude from the "Nets." If Ronnie stays with Miami (odds?), the Ronnie/Reggie show would be an upgrade from the Ronnie/Ricky show, no? The weed dealers will be bummed though.
Dallas? Jerry is dropping stars like New Englanders do R's. Roy Williams - bust (but good thing they kept him over TO - nice ego move Jason Garrett). Marion Barber - hot. I know he is an injury risk, but the man is a beast when he is on....and when he is off - as in the sidelines - he is fantastic eye candy. Yum. Can't wait to see who you end up with Marion....I may have to buy the NFL ticket....oh, and if you end up with TO somehow.....NFL Santa, are you listening? Leonard Davis? I have a special place for him ever since we bonded in Dallas right after he signed the contract. For the record, his WIFE probably could suit up for the NFL as well. She is NOT small. Random fact.
Cincy. Pride will bite you in the ass Mike Brown. Carson Palmer does NOT want to play for you (my theory? Its the uniform...I love tigers
Speaking of the Bengals letting go....I guess it is time for the segue....Ocho Cinco to NE? What? Brady to Ocho? I am already vomiting. Haynesworth to NE? Yup, everyone is once again saying, Belichek's a genius. I ask, if he is such a genius, why isn't he smart enough to know that his sweatshirt looks like crap? Has Haynesworth miraculously gotten into shape and also picked up a new attitude? Time will tell. What happens the first time Ocho dances in the end zone? Belichek's sweatshirt will probably spontaneously combust. Wait, that would be a great thing...hmmm..
J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets Jets. Brilliantly re-signing Santonio.....but do they REALLY need Nmamdi whatshisname (I wouldn't complain, guy is lovely and I wouldn't need the NFL ticket to watch him...ooh, I am feeling the all pro hot team coming to NYC....sanchez, nmamdi...can I get a TO? and perhaps Marion Barber...NFL Santa? Please??).
Kevin Kolb will be throwing the ball to one of the nicest receivers in the NFL. Frankly, Larry Fitzgerald, I hope Kolb is everything he is cracked up to be. You work hard, you seem nice, you deserve a good opportunity. Really, I mean this. I don't have to be snarky all the time.
Desean Jackson holding out? This should be interesting. Remember the last time an amazing wide receiver THREATENED to hold out in Philly? We got sit ups in the driveway and a mess of a season. Desean, please sign. Mike Vick needs you. I need you. Who else will humiliate the Giants? Speaking of the Giants. Sean O'Hara gone and Plax probably back? Here's hoping his at least got a holster to wear with his sweats at the club.
I have so much more to say, report on, comment on....but I have gone on, LONG enough. I am exhausted, bikram has scrambled my brain and rendered me all but silly puddy. Gotta head to bed. I am SURE there will be MUCH more to report on tomorrow. I may also re-think my overuse of capitals for emphasis. To be determined.
Just a few random closing thoughts....
Necessary Roughness on USA - have you tuned in? It is great? EXCEPT (haven't given up the caps yet), TK as a loose interpretation of TO is a BAD interpretation of TO. And the therapist only takes one ep to get through to her patients. If only it was that easy.
One of my favorite (OK, my favorite, despite his love of all things Boston) columnists for ESPN is Bill Simmons (the Sports Guy). I plan to provide links to some of my favorite columns of his. Here is my absolute favorite - its about basketball (as a lot of his stuff is) and The Wire. Not really applicable to Free Agent Frenzy week, but it is amazing. Read and enjoy!
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/part1/110503&sportCat=nba
John Clayton hits twitter and on the first day has over 150,000 followers? (including yours truly). All the kids that beat him up in middle school and high school are now following him on twitter. @claytonESPN. Patience, he is still learning.
Thats it people. I must go to bed. More tomorrow. Where will Vince end up? And why isn't anyone talking about TO? (Besides me, of course).
Goodnight and go Yankees.
xoxo (too Gossip Girl?).
Monday, July 25, 2011
Today is a banner day for NFL fans around the country.....Brett Favre is back! Ok, hopefully the latter portion of that sentence is fodder for sports radio only. But we're back baby, the NFL is back and not a moment too soon.....
First things first. What is this blog, you ask? What the hell do we need with a girl writing about football (and other miscellaneous sporting events that I determine blog worthy)? What do I bring? I certainly don't bring the knowledge of, say, Jemele Hill (although I would relish the opportunity to battle Skip Bayless on a daily basis); I don't have the access of a Rachel Nichols or a Pam Oliver (although every season I am tempted to Tanya Harding either or both of them just for one chance...); and Michelle Beadle has essentially stolen my job (granted, a job I never studied and/or applied for...)So what do I bring? Well, when I look at it that way, not much......
BUT, here I write. For anyone fortunate enough to have been in any of my fantasy football leagues OR my fantasy American Idol leagues, you know I like to offer an opinion...and I don't care who I offend or bore or annoy...It was only a matter of time before I turned to the blogosphere....If you don't like it, stop reading....but please don't :)
So where to begin...I have already gone on long enough but have said nothing....auspicious start.
It has been a long, dark winter....After a banner NFL year, MICHAEL VICK'S TRIUMPHANT RETURN! TOM BRADY'S SILLY HAIR! THE EAGLES stun THE GIANTS....BRETT FAVRE HOPEFULLY, FINALLY KNOCKED OUT OF THE NFL FOREVER....T.O. AND OCHO CO-EXISTING IN HARMONY (although T.O. dominated, per usual - oh, caveat....I will most likely mention T.O. every blog....and yes, I love him - deal with it)...they threatened to take it all away from us with a lock-out. What the hell would we have done every Sunday? Clean? Workout? Spend time with the family? Volunteer work? HELL NO. If you are anything like me, you generally spend your fall and winter Sundays checking your fantasy scores maniacally and wondering why the hell YOUR cable company doesn't get The Red Zone channel. Yup, I am single...hard to believe, right?
The NBA did offer some distractions....both good and bad....Lakers out (bad), Lebron finals choke (good), Khloe and Lamar on E! (awesome)....but not enough! To make matters worse, they are also "on a break" at the moment (the NBA, not Khloe and Lamar, thank God).
MLB? Ok, Jeter had the most magnificent day in baseball history....but the Yankees 2nd best pitcher is a small fat man (I'm not judging) named Colon. Really? We also lost to the Red Sox about a billion times before the All Star Break (not that I am scared or anything)....but still....
Hell, I even got caught up in WOMEN'S soccer. You know I am desperate when that happens. At least I didn't find myself glued to the WNBA all star game....that would have signaled rock bottom.
All of the above is irrelevant now (except for Jeter's magic, that will never be irrelevant)....because the NFL is back and we are about to witness the most amazing, crazy free agency frenzy EVER. SO FUN.
My wish list - in no particular order(I need to come up with some sort of catch name for myself....suggestions? Or should I continue to use the first person? Thoughts?):
1. Michael Vick continues his domination and wins the Super Bowl. Nothing to do with free agency, I know, but I still wish it, desperately.
2. T.O. recovers from his knee surgery (if you doubt, see Superbowl XXXIX) and signs with the....JETS! How fun! T.O. in NYC??? With Rex as his coach? I can't imagine a more AMAZING combo. Are you listening Drew Rosenhaus? Seriously. Think about it.
3. Santonio Holmes stays with the JETS - yup - a little healthy competition wouldn't hurt my man, T.O.
4. Donovan McNabb signs with.....BUFFALO! Yup, payback is a bitch Chester (ever notice his resemblance to Chester Cheetoh? No? Look again). Bet his mom's Chunky Soup would come in handy up at the falls. Shuffle off to Buffalo Donny, see ya!
5. Kevin Kolb goes to AZ. My rationale for this is twofold. One, I am tired of hearing about how he was supposed to take over the starting job in Philly. #7 dominates, deal with it. Two, Larry Fitzgerald deserves a good QB.
6. Ray Lewis plays forever. Again, not exactly a free agent thing, but seriously...won't the league suffer when he leaves? Won't I suffer when he leaves. I heart you Ray Lewis.
7. Matt Hasselbeck or Vince Young go to SF. Who is tired of hearing about how good SF could be if it weren't for Alex Smith? Snooze. Matt Hasselbeck would be a steady, good performer. Vince Young would bring some swagger to the Bay. Either is better than the status quo. Make it happen. Whoever you are who makes this happen.
8. Reggie Bush signs with the.....EAGLES! How amazing would that be? OK, so he isn't what he once was - Kim Kardashian's sex buddy....but he still can move and with Michael Vick, DeShaun Jackson and Reggie? I love it.
9. Plaxico Burress signs with.....who cares! As long as it is not Buffalo because then my exile for Chester Cheetoh won't seem so bad....
10. Vernon Davis sees the error of his ways and grows his hair back. Please.
11. I finally break the Fantasy Football superbowl curse and WIN this year! I feel it. Big year, watch out....Now if I can only think of a good name for the league. Suggestions?
Alright, so many things to write about, but this has gone on long enough....don't you agree, one person who is still reading?
Stay tuned, I will be back, weekly, daily, whenever the mood strikes.....
Anyway...enjoy, we no longer have to hear Mike and Mike wax poetic about the lockout, cuz we're back! Bring on Greeny's JETS whining, Golic's mockery and Professor John Clayton's semi-condescending but also very informative commentary on ACTUAL football!
Oh, and PS, go YANKEES! (It is still baseball season, afterall!).....
First things first. What is this blog, you ask? What the hell do we need with a girl writing about football (and other miscellaneous sporting events that I determine blog worthy)? What do I bring? I certainly don't bring the knowledge of, say, Jemele Hill (although I would relish the opportunity to battle Skip Bayless on a daily basis); I don't have the access of a Rachel Nichols or a Pam Oliver (although every season I am tempted to Tanya Harding either or both of them just for one chance...); and Michelle Beadle has essentially stolen my job (granted, a job I never studied and/or applied for...)So what do I bring? Well, when I look at it that way, not much......
BUT, here I write. For anyone fortunate enough to have been in any of my fantasy football leagues OR my fantasy American Idol leagues, you know I like to offer an opinion...and I don't care who I offend or bore or annoy...It was only a matter of time before I turned to the blogosphere....If you don't like it, stop reading....but please don't :)
So where to begin...I have already gone on long enough but have said nothing....auspicious start.
It has been a long, dark winter....After a banner NFL year, MICHAEL VICK'S TRIUMPHANT RETURN! TOM BRADY'S SILLY HAIR! THE EAGLES stun THE GIANTS....BRETT FAVRE HOPEFULLY, FINALLY KNOCKED OUT OF THE NFL FOREVER....T.O. AND OCHO CO-EXISTING IN HARMONY (although T.O. dominated, per usual - oh, caveat....I will most likely mention T.O. every blog....and yes, I love him - deal with it)...they threatened to take it all away from us with a lock-out. What the hell would we have done every Sunday? Clean? Workout? Spend time with the family? Volunteer work? HELL NO. If you are anything like me, you generally spend your fall and winter Sundays checking your fantasy scores maniacally and wondering why the hell YOUR cable company doesn't get The Red Zone channel. Yup, I am single...hard to believe, right?
The NBA did offer some distractions....both good and bad....Lakers out (bad), Lebron finals choke (good), Khloe and Lamar on E! (awesome)....but not enough! To make matters worse, they are also "on a break" at the moment (the NBA, not Khloe and Lamar, thank God).
MLB? Ok, Jeter had the most magnificent day in baseball history....but the Yankees 2nd best pitcher is a small fat man (I'm not judging) named Colon. Really? We also lost to the Red Sox about a billion times before the All Star Break (not that I am scared or anything)....but still....
Hell, I even got caught up in WOMEN'S soccer. You know I am desperate when that happens. At least I didn't find myself glued to the WNBA all star game....that would have signaled rock bottom.
All of the above is irrelevant now (except for Jeter's magic, that will never be irrelevant)....because the NFL is back and we are about to witness the most amazing, crazy free agency frenzy EVER. SO FUN.
My wish list - in no particular order(I need to come up with some sort of catch name for myself....suggestions? Or should I continue to use the first person? Thoughts?):
1. Michael Vick continues his domination and wins the Super Bowl. Nothing to do with free agency, I know, but I still wish it, desperately.
2. T.O. recovers from his knee surgery (if you doubt, see Superbowl XXXIX) and signs with the....JETS! How fun! T.O. in NYC??? With Rex as his coach? I can't imagine a more AMAZING combo. Are you listening Drew Rosenhaus? Seriously. Think about it.
3. Santonio Holmes stays with the JETS - yup - a little healthy competition wouldn't hurt my man, T.O.
4. Donovan McNabb signs with.....BUFFALO! Yup, payback is a bitch Chester (ever notice his resemblance to Chester Cheetoh? No? Look again). Bet his mom's Chunky Soup would come in handy up at the falls. Shuffle off to Buffalo Donny, see ya!
5. Kevin Kolb goes to AZ. My rationale for this is twofold. One, I am tired of hearing about how he was supposed to take over the starting job in Philly. #7 dominates, deal with it. Two, Larry Fitzgerald deserves a good QB.
6. Ray Lewis plays forever. Again, not exactly a free agent thing, but seriously...won't the league suffer when he leaves? Won't I suffer when he leaves. I heart you Ray Lewis.
7. Matt Hasselbeck or Vince Young go to SF. Who is tired of hearing about how good SF could be if it weren't for Alex Smith? Snooze. Matt Hasselbeck would be a steady, good performer. Vince Young would bring some swagger to the Bay. Either is better than the status quo. Make it happen. Whoever you are who makes this happen.
8. Reggie Bush signs with the.....EAGLES! How amazing would that be? OK, so he isn't what he once was - Kim Kardashian's sex buddy....but he still can move and with Michael Vick, DeShaun Jackson and Reggie? I love it.
9. Plaxico Burress signs with.....who cares! As long as it is not Buffalo because then my exile for Chester Cheetoh won't seem so bad....
10. Vernon Davis sees the error of his ways and grows his hair back. Please.
11. I finally break the Fantasy Football superbowl curse and WIN this year! I feel it. Big year, watch out....Now if I can only think of a good name for the league. Suggestions?
Alright, so many things to write about, but this has gone on long enough....don't you agree, one person who is still reading?
Stay tuned, I will be back, weekly, daily, whenever the mood strikes.....
Anyway...enjoy, we no longer have to hear Mike and Mike wax poetic about the lockout, cuz we're back! Bring on Greeny's JETS whining, Golic's mockery and Professor John Clayton's semi-condescending but also very informative commentary on ACTUAL football!
Oh, and PS, go YANKEES! (It is still baseball season, afterall!).....
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