Where Have I Been?

Chris Carter just called and said, "Where you at?"  When CC calls I realize it is time to "buckle up my chin strap" and get back out there.  To my loyal fan(s?), I say, good news, i'm  back.  For this week at least.  Baby steps.....

Where have I been?  Hmmm....Let's see....

- Wandering the country looking for the Yankees' bats?  Check.

- Trapped on a treadmill at Barry's Bootcamp?  Check

- Touring NFL front offices on the "Bring Back TO tour" No, but I should have been.  Starting in NJ. 

- Caught up in the corporate rat race?  Um, sure.  Check.

- Watching "What Time Is It?" over and over on youtube, fruitlessly hoping that by watching, Ray Lewis'     tricep would answer, "Game time" and miraculously recover.  Check AND check.

While all of the above are honorable pursuits, I haven't been writing.  But why not?  What is it about this NFL season that has left my fingers idle?  (Other than I have a really hard time "typing" on my ipad)?  I can't say this season is without storylines.  Peyton is back and, while maybe not better than ever, he is living up to his well deserved reputation and has made Denver fans conveniently forget that one season ago they were cheering for back-up Jesus as if he was truly the second coming.   The Year of the Rookie QB is living up to the hype.  RGIII has lit up DC - it is only a matter of time before he sorts out that hair and grill and becomes the true stud he could be.  Who's with me?  Andrew Luck is making the "rebuilding" in Indy look like a rush job.   Not to mention Tannehill, Wilson, etc, etc.  AP came back and is killing it when no one thought he had a chance this season...Falconss, led my Matty Ice are undefeated Tebow remains benched despite Mark Sanchez being, well...Mark Sanchez...so, why am I left cold?

Perhaps it is because, to me, this feels like a transition year.  End of an era type thing.  Maybe I just need to adjust to the new storylines in the NFL.  It was fun loving Tom Brady back in the pre-Gisell days.  The snow game, the first SB.  Then it was even more fun hating Tommy Uggs, Mr. Bundchen, Mr. Pontail in Rio.  But have we even heard of Tommy this season?  I guess he's playing but there are new storylines now.  Hell, I don't even know if he has long or short hair this season.  Gronk is all we hear now.  Gronk this and gronk that.  Sounds like someone has a digestive problem.

Ray Lewis out for the season?  Well, why would anyone even want to watch a Sunday Night or Monday Night Ravens game without the huddle?  Even Faith Hill seems a little dimmer without Ray.

No TO?  No Chad?  Ok, I know I have been accused of and, frankly, have owned being a TO homer, but seriously.  When receivers catch TD passes this season, do you wait to see what is going to happen next?  OK, Cruz does his salsa, ok.  That's cute.  But I haven't had any popcorn with my TD catches in awhile.  And I miss it. And admit it....so do you.

I can't even discuss my boys in Philly.  Mike Vick?  Where YOU at?  Run Mike, run.  And if you don't, let Shady run.  But whatever the two of you do, stop letting the equipment guy butter up your gloves.  Get a new equipment guy!  Yes, I am blaming the gloves, not the hands.  And fire the OL, try to play without them, it can't be any worse!  I think the Philly OL is secretly on the payroll of the NY Giants.  Honestly. 

Randy Moss is in SF. Snooze.  13 catches and an interview with Lil Wayne.  That's not inspiring me to was poetic.  The niners are good, but ever since Vernon cut his hair and they choked against the Giants last year, well, I have lost interest.  But props to the SF Giants! 

I guess this season has given me a bit of football "whatever".  Admittedly I don't like change and maybe this is my transition year.  With that said, I am still watching and always waiting to go from "whatever" to "sweet, its Sunday again!"  (Oh yeah, forgot to mention how much I hate Thurs football....).  I am hopeful that today's Eagles/Cowboys game might get me there.  Here's hoping Mike Vick and Andy Reid can bring the magic back today.

I know change is inevitable (except the White House this year - OBAMA!), but that doesn't mean I have to embrace it all at once.  Second half of the season awaits, I am sure I will make the necessary adjustments, just like the Eagles are about to do :)

If not, I always have the Lakers and part time Phil Jackson.....don't get me started....

Peace and bring back TO...

S

GIRLS JUST WANNA WATCH FOOTBALL: What time is it? Tell us Ray...GAME TIME!

GIRLS JUST WANNA WATCH FOOTBALL: What time is it? Tell us Ray...GAME TIME!: In the immortal words of Mike Greenberg, we are back and better than ever!  And by we, I could mean several we's......The NFL!  Girls Just ...

What time is it? Tell us Ray...GAME TIME!

In the immortal words of Mike Greenberg, we are back and better than ever!  And by we, I could mean several we's......The NFL!  Girls Just Wanna Watch Football blog (the royal we), MoJo, Peyton....but I don't mean the NFL referees!  Nope, they are not back and the replacement refs are not better than ever...  But hey!  They have ref'd the always popular lingerie bowl, so we should be in for some good cat calls...oh, I mean whistles!  But anyway....

This is a season full of intrigue.....Let's take a look at a few of this year's most pressing questions:

1.  T2 or Pretty boy Sanchez - I wish I didn't have to even mention this, but there it is.  Do I have a choice?  As a responsible, serious football blogger, can I simply skip this mind numbingly dull topic?  No, I can't.  So, in a nutshell - the Jets have one good player who is indeed on an island - poor Darrelle Revis.   Personally, I am harboring a not so secret hope that Sanchez defies all detractors (and the porous OL he has been stuck with) and kills it, thereby eliminating any hope that back-up Jesus becomes Grand Poobah here in NYC.  I can't take it, or his devout followers.  The best thing I have heard so far in the ENDLESS yapping about this questionably talented duo is that when Timmy speaks he bears a striking resemblance to Will Ferrell in Elf.  If you haven't done, it...listen to them side by side.  Insert Jesus for Santa and you have an exact match. Try it.   Moving on.

2.  Peyton is BAAAACK!  Frankly, I am not sure the devout fans in Denver deserve an actual QB, but alas, John Elway was never a devout fan and, as a result....he went and found himself not only a real QB, but one of the best QBs....can his neck handle it?  Um...it's Peyton Manning - does anyone really think he would come back if there was any doubt?  I am not so secretly hoping that he tears it up in Denver and proves to the fans there who seem to have forgotten what real QB play is...well, what real QB play actually is.  (Note to self, must work on transitions...).  Plus, isn't everyone happy to have Peyton back (and better than ever) in commercials again?

3.  Andrew Luck - the runaway number one pick.  The future.  Peyton part II.  A sure thing.  Uh, no pressure or anything.  Good Lu...um, bueno suerte!

4.  Michael Vick's kevlar vest - ok, this may not intrigue the ENTIRE league, but it intrigues me!  C'mon, admit it...you are curious to see what happens if Vick can stay on the field the entire season.  Combine a full season with the way he looked in the 2010/2011 season?  The Vick experience would be back and...say it with me....better than ever!

5.  Can Cam repeat?  Sticking with mobile QBs....can Cam get better?  Dare we say it?  If he learns to throw with true accuracy...uh, he is Michael Vick plus 6 inches and about 60 lbs.  Watch out league.

6.  Can Tommy Uggs, Brandon Lloyd, Gronk, and Aaron Hernandez (he needs a nickname) sweep and and erase the pain and suffering for NE fans due to Ray Allen's defection?  The Red Sox 2012 Bloody Valentine?  I am overtly (no secret here) hoping they cannot....BUT....since we seem to be in the middle of a Yankees late season collapse, I will be generous of spirit and say that I hope they put up a good season...just not kissing the trophy at the end.  Haven't we all seen Tommy Uggs kissing that damn thing one too many times??

7.  Will the 24 hour detail on Dez Bryant free him to play up to his potential?  Or will the young boy buck and find himself in more trouble?  I am pulling for you Dez (and not just because I picked you up in my FFL)...

8.  RGIII, already has a cool nickname, has a smile ready for the cameras, Mike Shanahan actually seems to LIKE him.  Redskins are probably doomed.  Put I am pulling for you RGIII!

9.  Will the Saints prove that the coach is actually more of a figurehead than anything else?  Do you think coaches around the league are all slightly worried that the Saints are going to be just find without Payton?  Belicheck to Brady - don't even think about donning this awesome, cut off sweatshirt.  You aren't half the man to fill this out....

10.  And finally, the one my devoted readers have been waiting for....will TO play in the league this year?  So he dropped some balls in pre-season...that I could have caught.  So?  He has always buttered up the gloves a bit before games...but did that stop him from being the 2nd all time leader in receptions?  Nope.  Pete Carroll, bad move.  Rest of the league - come on!  I mean, NYJ, do you really have better options?  Think about it. 

Bonus question:  Is there anyone in the league who motivates more than Ray Lewis?  You think so?  Think again.  Watch this and then ask yourself one question......WHAT TIME IS IT?  GAME TIME!  Time to buckle up your chin straps.  Are you ready?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0ysMOV8TYU

Glad to be back! 

Thoughts to the NYY - they are swooning...UGH!
 

Correction/apology/and a new member of APHT

Hi guys!

Ok, I must first apologize for the typo's in yesterday's blog! Yikes - I need to hire an editor.  My bad.  I also can't figure out how to edit without creating a new post....not that bright...

I also want to clarify that it is Ryan Clark - not Grant that is not playing for the Steelers today.  Although, technically, Ryan Grant is NOT playing for the Steelers today either.....I am sorry to Ryan Clark for this egregious error, especially because he is my favorite 1st and 10 panelist - he kills Skip.  Wait, it is a toss up between him and Stephen A. 

Finally, after watching all the hoopla surrounding the Giants/Falcons game, I would like to introduce a new, starting member of my All Pro Hot Team...Julio Jones.  Welcome.  Good Lord, how did I miss that all season????

Back to regularly scheduled NFL games.....

PS, smart move to have a trombone player doing the national anthem (no potential embarassing lyric slips) or "we couldn't get a celeb to do it"?  Curious.

Peace and thank you Jorge Posada!!!  We love you and you will be missed!

Best of Times...Worst of Times

Happy New Year!  Wow, already 2012.  Doesn't seem like just yesterday when we were celebrating the end of the lockout (NFL, that is for the NBA is was yesterday), drafting our fantasy teams, discussing the possibility of the Jets and/or Bills taking over supremacy of the AFC East.  Ah, good times.  But alas, here we are, wild card weekend!

I find myself torn by wildcard weekend its a great weekend that signals the end.... I mean, two great games per day - both on major networks that your cable company carries!  Hurray!   But wait, I would prefer to watch the Eagles or perhaps Cam Newton's Panthers.  Oh right....they're done.  Boo.  Football season is virtually over.  Once that Fantasy Football commercial "you had a bad day" with First and Ted....Rocky Mtn. High, Romolicious....etc starts playing, you know its done.  The NFL season is over.  But wait people, we still have a few more great games left so.....stop your crying (ok, that's probably just me) and let's take a look at what we have to expect....

On today's roster...

Dalton vs. Yates. Wait, what?  Who?  AKA, red headed kid vs. guy who took over for Matt and Matt.  Strangely, despite the anonymity of the QB's, I think this will be one of the best games of the weekend.  Wait, I just realized - what is it with Cincy and their predilection for ginger QB's - Carson Palmer followed by Andy Dalton?  Is it a Cincy requirement?  Is it because the ginger hair goes well with their uniforms?  Hmmm....further research will be required.  Stay tuned.  PS, for those keeping track at home... neither is on my all pro hot team.

What can be expected?  Well, here's hoping Jerome Simpson tops his own amazing feat of flipping over a defender and into the end zone, sticking the landing for the most amazing TD of the season.  Perhpas AJ Green will try to top him?  But what of Houston?  First time in the playoffs, playing with a flu-ridden 3rd string QB who was given the starting job after the Matts went down.    Will Andre play?  Who do I want to win?  Really its a toss up.  I guess I lean to Cincy - any team that has a receiver who can flip into the end zone is good for TV!

Ok, onto Detroit/New Orleans.   Tough assignment for the Lions.  Heading to the Dome to face Drew Brees's arm, the Who Dat fan nation (can someone PLEASE explain this to me - what the hell is who dat?) and, well Drew Brees' arm.   Things don't look great for the first playoff game for the Detroit Lions in 19 years.  But who knows - New Orleans got their win when their city needed it most and God knows Detroit needs a win - in so many ways.....Divine intervention?   Perhaps we should consult Tebow.  I hear he has the hotline.  Stafford's arm is no joke either and let's not forget he has Megatron on the other end of that arm....They also have the beast Ndamukong Suh facing Drew on the other side of the ball  (as long as he keeps his feet to himself) so....The Lions aren't dead in the water.....just floating with no life jacket....I would be happy with a win for either team here....New Orleans, one of my favorite cities, Detroit, the comeback kid story.....its a win/win.

But Sunday.....yeah, here my opinions are a bit more in play :)

Giants/Atlanta.  As any of you who read this blog or have ever spoken to me know, I am not a huge fan of Eli Manning and, as such, the NY football Giants.  Not to mention that I also feel that the Eagles should be playing the Falcons this weekend.  But, I won't go there (next year, Eagles, next year....).  Now, with that, I find myself slightly torn - I LOVE Victor Cruz.  Undrafted, salsa dancing, UMASS attending, Victor Cruz.  So....here's my best case scenario......4th Quarter - Giants down by 6 (27 - 21 - with Cruz having scored 3 TDs); final play of the game, Eli goes up to throw for the win......PICKED OFF!  Falcons win, Cruz kills it and I go home happy.  Perfect scenario.  Tebow - work on that, will you?

Steelers/Denver (aka, Tebow's flock).  Talk about Divine Intervention....Tebow accidentally wound up in the playoffs despite 2 final humiliating losses.  His last game he threw for an intimidating 60 yards.  Look out.  Now, the Steelers are with a hobbled bathroom Ben and without Rashard Mendenhal or Ryan Grant BUT if they lose to Tebow's flock, they will never live it down AND I think religious conversions will be at an all time high!  Granted Tebow has McGahee and a good defense (and Jesus), but the Steelers have, well, so much more...There is no way that Foreman, I mean Tomlin (House, people, watch it, it will make more sense) will allow his team to fall in Mile High City.  Plus, I think the Steelers are driven by a deep desire to face my true love Ray Lewis and the Bengals to try to avenge their 2 regular season losses.  To paraphrase the immortal words of Jay Z - Tebow, "we're not looking at you we're looking past you"......

That's what I have this week.  Next week, look out.  Tommy Uggs, my husband, ARodge, the return of the Niners.  BIG week....But sad week....closer to the end....

But closer to spring training and March Madness!!  And Idol :)

Peace out and go Lakers.

S