Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Tis the Season to be Tebow....

Ok, the Tebow craze is bananas.  Like seriously nuts.  Back up Jesus has turned into our Lord and Savior.  In addition to somehow energizing the Denver D and going an improbable 5-1, he also has ended the NBA lockout, broken up Kim and Chris, solved global warming, brought Sandusky to justice, helped UNLV to victory......he is....the most interesting man in the NFL.  All while passing like a pop-warner linebacker.  Poor, poor John Elway.

Dare I go on?  Is there anything else to discuss in the NFL today?  Not if Skip Bayless has anything to say about it.  BUT, I will see if I can dig up some gems.....

Tommy Uggs is back.  Damn.  I was sort of enjoying their supposed fall from grace.  But really?  Did anyone think that Giselle's husband was going to give up his AFC throne that easily to a himbo from NY?  Defense or no, the Pat's still have Laurel and Hardy as receiver/TE - Welker (who frankly gives Pedroia a run for his money as the shortest, most beloved Boston sports figure) and Gradkowski (or is that the kicker) a BEAST of a TE who runs like a gazelle.  How on earth does he do that.  For the record, none of the above are on my all pro-hot team.  Well, Tommy Uggs has a permanent slot, I forgot, damn him.

Speaking of sexy Rexy - is anyone besides me TOTALLY freaked out by his brother Rob?   I can't watch the Cowboys for fear that I may catch a glimpse of him.  With that said, Laurent Robinson - thank you, my fantasy team is SO happy you have arrived!  And with the Eagles horrific dream to nightmare season, I think I may be reverting back to another former TO team - let's go Cowboys....as long as I avert my eyes from Rob and onto say....hmmm...Bradie James (def all-pro hot team) then I am good.  Plus, if the 'Boys can knock out the Giants, bring it! 

But back to Rex, ok.  LT is old and hurt, Shonn Greene is hurt (I think...right?) - so you're running game is suspect.  You have Santonio - ok.  Plax?  TBD.   You know who you need, right?  Come on faithful readers, say it with me.......TO!!!  Dustin, you can give up 81, correct?  There is still time.  Excuse me, I need to go make a call to Drew Rosenhaus.

What else, Packers undefeated, yeah, yeah.  Ok, Aaron Rodgers is an absolute beast.  He has essentially been perfect this year and has virtually erased the memories of that narcissistic gungslinger Fav-ra.  His play would ALMOST garner him a spot on the APHT (all pro hot team for you slower readers), but sadly, it doesnt - sorry ARodge.  Although, guess who's getting his groove back and can give ARodge a run for his money?  Breesy baby.  And his scar is just cool enough that he can sit the bench on the APHT - not a starter, but definitely some playing time.  Go Saints.  I would say "who dat", but I don't really get that, to be honest.  So there's that.

Niners lost on Thanksgiving in a heartbreaker to the Ravens - sans my number one, veteran APHT (and my future husband) #62.   He may not have been playing, but his pre-game huddle was in full effect.  Does anyone else get goosebumps watching that pre-game pep talk/yell?   And PS, Torrey Smith, welcome to the APHT!   As for the Niners, you will be fine - hell, Wilbon thinks you are better than New Orleans so, keep your left coast chins up.  And Vernon, please re-grow your hair.  Please?

Lions, for the first time in what feels like forever, people were happy to watch you on Thanksgiving.  And what happens?  Ndamukong Suh "accidentally" stomps on their chances of a victory.  Now, in fairness, their big chance and they are playing the Packers?  That's just rough luck, but come on Suh?  And, unlike Baby's dad, when you are wrong, you don't say you are wrong and that's just, well, wrong.  Ok, am I the only one who got that last line :)

Indy, sorry.  Really sorry.  Good Luck.  Haha.  So obvious.

Michael Vick - as I mention in virtually every post - I love you.  Is there something I don't know about your rib injury that makes it different from Tony Romo's?  I mean, how can you let TRomo look tougher than you?  Strap on your kevlar and get back out there!  Well, too late now.  No need to rush back.  We can continue to watch Vince Young throw like a girl, to the other team.  Hey,  at least his girly throws put up some numbers for my fantasy team.

Ok, I have gone on WAY to long so the time has come for me to wrap it up.

Welcome back NBA - except for those stuck in China! Woops, shoulda read that small print!  Go Lakers!

OK, peace out and Drew - call me.  We can make magic with TO and the Jets.  Really.  Hey wait, maybe Tebow can help me negotiate this deal.  I'll call him.

Peace and go Yankees!  Ok, too early.  Go Lakers!  and for the love of Tebow - bring back TO!

Monday, November 14, 2011

The Eagles have landed...crash landed

Sorry its been awhile.  Frankly, as much intrigue as this season has offered....Lions and Bills are good - oh my! (although fading.), Niners are amazing (just ask the Giants), Colts are defeated (opposite of undefeated), Aaron Rodgers puts the clutch in ARod....I just haven't felt inspired....Why, you ask?  Well, its the Eagles.  They have crushed me. Deep.  What is happening in Philly?  Let's see....

1.  Desean Jackson - no money for an alarm clock?  Buddy, I know the Eagles paid the rest of the world to play for them and neglected to rub a few pennies (and by pennies, I mean millions) together for you....but don't you get paid enough for an alarm clock?   Really? or maybe a friend who could call you right before a meeting?  Come on man.

2.  Steve Smith - hi, welcome to the NFL, its a contact sport.  

3.  Mike Vick - I love you.  Truly.  But seriously,........Run, forest run.  When in doubt, run.  I know you want to be known as more than a running quarterback, but please, don't hold back.  Oh, and PS, when you do run....please slide.  No heroes needed.  Vince Young can't handle one snap no mind a whole game.

4.  Andy Reid, I think you need to start SERIOUSLY fining anyone who gets an off-sides call or any other stupid penalty.  The opponents of the Eagles don't need to do anything, the Eagles will penalty march them down the field.

See ya next year, Eaglets.

What else can I say about this season?  The Ravens kill the Steelers twice and then lose to the Seahawks?  Really? 

Congrats to the Dolphins for falling behind in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes (although anyone who watched the Stanford game this weekend might not consider him to be the miracle he is hyped to be).  Two wins, go fins!

Atlanta, um...a word of advice....when in OT and on your OWN 30 at 4th and inches...yeah, I wouldn't go for it. 

March Sanchez...ah, so pretty. 

Tommy Uggs, no way you were going to lose 3 in a row.  Way to bring it back. 

Ok kids, off to go watch MNF - here's hoping the Packers cover the 13.5 spread and score big....I am destined to score big if they do!

Peace out....

and here's to the Eagles going undefeated the rest of the season!  Dare to dream.

Oh, and PS, on a more serious note....thoughts and prayers going out to the victims in the Penn State scandal and I am not talking about Joe Paterno.